We’re All Doomed ~ a Tag

I LIVE!!! But not for long, since Journey has doomed us all and tagged every blogger in her acquaintance to pull into the apocalypse with her. Weep, for we had a good run, but now ’tis over.

Anyhow, some weeks ago, Journey tagged me to fill out the Zombie Apocalypse Book Tag, and now here we are. Before I get into it, I have a disclaimer to put out there. I do not endorse zombies. I do not like them, they probably wouldn’t like me either if they truly existed. They and I are not on speaking terms, but this tag looked like a fun way to go out with a bang, so we’re doing it anyway.

Here Be the Rules

• Acknowledge and link back to whomever tagged you.
• Choose 5 books (there are two strategies: choose your favorite books, or choose ones that should give you a fighting chance)
• Randomly set up your books in order.
• Flip to a random page in the book and write down the first two names you see
• Put the names in the categories listed below in the order you saw them.
• Cry at how doomed you are (Journey said this is an essential step, and I’m sure I’ll agree with her once I fill this out in its entirety)

My Five Books:

I have:

• The Q (Beth Brower)
• Light of the Last (Chuck Black)
• Christy Miller Vol. 2 (Robin Jones Gunn; this is totally not cheating since it’s technically three books in one 👀)
• The Fellowship of the Ring (J.R.R. Tolkien)
• The Wonderland Trials (Sara Ella)

First Person To Die:

qUINCY IS THE FIRST TO DIE?!? Y’ALL THIS IS RIGGED.

Quincy is the main character from the Q and as such should have plot armor!! We love Quincy!! Forget this apocalypse nonsense, we must needs call it to a halt and mourn this immense loss.

The First Person You Trip To Escape:

Sorry Fisher…I didn’t mean it, honest. Fisher is so lovable and sweet and thoughtful. I can’t believe I would be so cruel as to trip him and leave him to his doom. He’s been through enough already; he deserves better than such treatment.

The Person Who Trips You To Escape:

Drew Carter?? Y’know what, this could make sense, depending on where he’s at in his personal story arc. He wants to survive at all costs. He knows the world is out to get him, but doesn’t know exactly why (I do though!! Oh how I adore dramatic irony on rereads *smirks*).

The First Person To Turn To the Dark Side:

Oh Sydney. I never thought it would be you. You have betrayed us all.

Sydney is the sweetest, most Jesus-soaked girl you’ll ever meet in the pages of a book. In fact, this song is her theme song, I have just decided.

Fortunately, she would make a terrible zombie, so we don’t really have to worry about her coming after us.

The Team Idiot:

While I wouldn’t have chosen Alissa (from Christy Miller) for this position, it fits her in an odd and convoluted way.

Alissa’s role in the Christy series is to show us that those who look like they have their lives in order, who look happy and rich and on top of the world, are probably falling apart at the seams. Alissa does some pretty stupid stuff and actually ends up pregnant before she’s married. She does have a redemption arc, but pre-redemption Alissa can be our team idiot.

The Brains of the Group:

Aaaannddd we really are doomed. Shawn, the father of Alissa’s child, doesn’t even survive the first book of the series he’s in (for reference, his series–Christy’s series–has approximately twenty-one books). How can someone like Shawn keep us alive when he can’t keep himself alive?!?

The Team Medic:

…Frodo??

Ok, this is acceptable. Frodo lad surely knows some valuable herbal healing stuff after his multiple injuries on his way to Mt. Doom. And besides that, he’s a gentle soul and will sympathize with us while he’s attempting to stitch us up.

The Brawler:

YES SAM YOU GOT THIS; SWING THAT FRYING PAN!!!

I think we may actually have a fighting chance here, especially considering that Master Frodo is also on our team and Sam is overly zealous to protect him. I’ll be hanging out by Frodo, to optimize my survival rate.

I mean, consider Sam going after Frodo in Mordor. Those Orcs were scared spitless when they saw him.

The Weapons Expert:

The Queen of Hearts, from the Wonderland Trials.

If we can only keep her from stabbing us in the back (figuratively, but perhaps also literally 👀) she’ll be a true asset to the team. Especially if we can figure out what it is our enemies most fear.

I feel like there is so much more I could say about her in relation to her position on our team, but I don’t want to spoil the book for you. Just know that there is so much more to the Queen of Hearts than it would appear.

The Team Leader:

Jack, also from the Wonderland Trials.

I think he’s capable enough to fill this role. Chess and Knave never really gave him a chance to prove his leadership capabilities in the books, but Jack could definitely lead us.

PLOT TWIST

I don’t care for a few of these placements, so I shall rearrange them with utter disregard for the rules.

I shall have Shawn be the first to die (it’s actually canon, soooo…), Alissa shall be tripped (she’s a side character, it doesn’t matter {FORGIVE ME; I JUST SAID SOMEONE DOESN’T MATTER AAAHHHHH}), Quincy shall trip me (she would probably actually do this *sobs*), first to turn into a zombie…eh, that can still be Sydney (sorry girl 🥺), team idiot can be Frodo (he wasn’t much use to the Fellowship, you know. I regret this choice but it must be done), brains shall be good old Jack (he’s surely clever enough for this role, he was merely in Alice and Chess’ shadows in the book), medic shall be Fisher!! for he has done some doctoring when he was smol (poor little fellow), our weapons expert is Drew Carter (WE’RE SAVED FOR DREW IS SCARY GOOD WITH WEAPONS), brawler can still be Sam (properly provoked first, ofc), and our leader is the Queen of Hearts (honor where honor is due *bows before her royal highness*).

We shall not only survive, but we shall thrive now that we’re rid of Shawn. It was for the best.

The Tagging of Peoples

I’m really not sure Journey left anyone else to tag, sooo…anyone who by some miracle has not already been dragged into this, consider yourself bound by oath to complete this tag.

I just want you to know that that’s the first gif I’ve used in my blog, and I feel so accomplished. Someone give me a little badge or something for that.

Coda

Journey doomed us all, Iona is providing snacks, and the rest of us are hoping to survive. It’s gonna be a good time. If enough of us band together, I think we stand a chance. Anyhow, see you around (if we make it out the other side alive)!!

Always,

Ava ⚔️